OH, THANK HEAVEN FOR SEVEN-ELEVEN

by Jonathan Chisdes

I turn on my TV;
Fall in love with what I see.
Stay turned--don't touch that dial.
Quality never goes out of style.
Levis jeans. Ivory soap.
Fight morning breath with Scope.
Coca-Cola. Burger King.
Tastes great, less filling.
Frosted Flakes--they're great!
19.9 percentage rate.
TV-27: Where news is first.
Shaquil O'Neal will quench his thirst.
Nothing works like Clorox bleach.
Have you ever faxed from the beach?
You will, and the company
That'll bring it--AT&T.
Trust Woolite. Just say no...
The policeman told me so.
I wish I were an Oscar Meyer
Wiener. Luvs keeps baby drier.
Wheat, corn, and rice Chex.
Call 1-900-PHONE-SEX.
Must be over 21.
Be young, have fun,
Drink Pepsi. Lowe's knows.
Nobody knows like Dominos.
JC Penney--Doing it right.
Make it a Blockbuster night.
Take a chance on the lottery.
Thank goodness for Chef Boy-ar-dee
Frank and Corky paint the town...
Next time on "Murphy Brown."
Like a rock--Chevy trucks.
Ed McMahan will give ten million bucks.
But wait, there's more...
Phill Rizzuto for the Money Store.
Ocean Spray--catch the wave!
Save! Save! Save! Save!
Donald weds...Ivana sues...
Next on the 11 o'clock news.
Be all that you can be
In the mutha-fuckin' Army.
I'm a 'Wheel' watcher. Call
About Rogaine with Mynoxodyl.
Albertson's--It's your store.
Give me more and more and more.
Don't accuse me of greed.
These are products that I need.
Brand-names are here to stay.
It's the good ol' American way.

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